The Sliver and the Log

A recent article on www.ChristianityToday.com:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/bcl/areas/leadership/articles/053106.html

The following excerpts are from this article written by Blaine Allen originally taken from When People Throw Stones. I have added my own comments as well.

In Blaine's article, he discusses the result of unjustified criticism and how to respond. What I realized for myself as a result of this article was that there are many times when I am the one giving the unjustified criticism. Or even criticism that is justified but still not the right thing to do. These types of opportunities are all over the place. What I am beginning to realize is that I can always criticize someone as long as I don't have to walk in their shoes. There is no one on the face of this planet that can do their job perfectly - or be the perfect husband, father, mother, wife, employee, boss, President, Senator or whatever.

So, when you feel tempted to criticize... Stop and think. Put on gentleness and kindness. When you receive criticism - be meek and gentle as well. This is the character of Christ and the fruit of the Spirit that we as Christians are called to live out.

Here are some excerpts:

Unjustified, off-the-wall criticism—how do you cope?

Let's look for a code of conduct that will help us when called to serve another with words.

[With] Meekness and Gentleness [of course]

He was at it again. A leader in the church where I was pastor—let's call him "Frank"—was running me down before others. Of course I heard about it on the grapevine. (Don't we all.) I could live with the fact that Frank didn't like my sermons. After speaking, I sometimes didn't like my sermons. I could even live with the fact that he mocked them. But then to tell others that I had attempted to sabotage a rather significant ministry when I was the one who had spent untold hours initiating and mobilizing that ministry, encouraging those who served in it; to hear that I was reckless with my expense account, that I had already personally eaten double the amount allotted to me; to hear that I had never met with him to talk about his concerns when I had spent hours over the years doing just that. I heard it on the grapevine, and when I checked those grapes out, I found that Frank really had said these things—and then some. He had really turned missionary about me.

I decided to confront Frank head on. He lied. By my public identification with the Lord whom I loved, he insulted him. He poisoned others against me. He made me look like a charlatan. That was it. No more.

"Either you cut it out, or I will nail your hide to the wall at the next board meeting. We will find out who's really been telling it like it is and who's telling it like it's not. We will find out who's lying."

That was the plan… pounded out on my pillow.

I'm glad I came to my senses and read how Paul handled his "Franks" in 2 Corinthians 10. There he lays out the spiritual parameters to any "take a stand" response: "By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you." Paul could have argued his entire case with the very same words against his critics, without the "meekness and gentleness of Christ"—and grieved the heart of God.

Meekness.
When my son Brian was in his single digits in age, I tussled with him on the floor and pinned him every time. But leave him black and blue with broken bones? Of course not. Power available is not power applied. To prevent harm I practiced restraint. That's meekness. Though power to do much harm is available—through information, money, position, knowledge, contacts—it's curbed. You could ruin your critic—it's all within your grasp—and you don't.
Meekness waves a yellow flag and warns you to get out of the search-and-destroy mode. Two millennia ago, our Lord could have blown away His pharisaical critics forever simply with a thought. Boom! But though the capacity was there, the will was not. Paul said to his critics concerning his authority, "[It is] for building you up rather than pulling you down" (2 Cor. 10:8).

Meekness cannot jerk another down. It is a short leash on vengeful desire. It is the safety lock on the automatic of bitter words. With meekness, you and I can take the heat of any situation and not torch our detractors into crispy critics. We practice restraint.

Gentleness.
Quoting Isaiah 42:1–4, Matthew wrote of Christ, "He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory" (Matt. 12:19–20). That's gentleness: a sensitivity salved with mercy. When the time comes for "take a stand words," words that very likely will hurt, gentleness shrinks the potential pain as much as possible. Meekness is restraint: our words don't blow the critic away; gentleness is release: our words are spoken with sensitivity. The first handles the negative, the second handles the positive. Neither keeps us from saying what needs to be said; they keep us from saying too much.

Of course, some critics see meekness and gentleness as personal frailty. But unhealthy Christians and unbelievers cannot appreciate qualities that characterize spiritual maturity (see 1 Cor. 2:11-3:9).

They look for what the world looks for: winning with clout. Not so for us, if we want to grow in our Lord. He values meekness and gentleness as parameters for any rationale for our behavior.

How do you feel toward your critic at this moment? Do you want to hurt him? Would you like to leave her broken and bent in shame? Or do you want to build your critic spiritually, hurting only as it is absolutely necessary? Would outsiders say that your proposed defense is gracious, or would they sense vindictiveness?

Probing questions like these deserve honest answers before any defense is made. We must "by the meekness and gentleness of Christ" appeal to our critics.