Ever thought about the effect of pride in your life?

Beth Moore wrote this poem in one of her books...

My Name is Pride

My name is Pride

I cheat you of your God-given destiny…
Because you demand your own way.

I cheat you out of contentment…
Because you deserve better than this.

I cheat you out of knowledge…
Because you already know it all.

I cheat you out of holiness…
Because you refuse to admit when you’re wrong.

I cheat you out of vision…
Because you’d rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship…
Because nobody’s going to know the real you.

I cheat you of love…
Because real romance demand sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in Heaven..
Because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.

I cheat you of God’s glory…
Because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride. I am a cheater.

You like me because you think I’m always looking out for you. Untrue.

I’m looking to make a fool of you. God has so much for you, I admit,
but don’t worry if you stick with me you’ll never know.

Are You Free?

Freedom is a topic of conversation every in our world around us. September 11 got people talking - in fact, it even got a lot of people talking about spiritual things. Spiritual or not, however, people are talking about freedom.

What does freedom mean? According to Webster...

1: the quality or state of being free:
a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action
b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : INDEPENDENCE
c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous
d : EASE, FACILITY
e : the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken
f : improper familiarity
g : boldness of conception or execution
h : unrestricted use

Ask yourself...

Are you feeling constrained, coerced, restrained or restricted? If so, you aren't free.

Do you feel like you can speak your mind at work, at home or in your neighborhood without fear of consequences, rejection or judgment? If not, you're not free.

Let's get a little bit closer to home...

Do you feel overwhelmed with responsibilities and commitments? Do you feel the pressure of paying bills and fixing up the house and disciplining and loving your children? Do you remember the last time you laughed with your spouse? Have you wondered how your life got to be so hectic and crazy? When is the last time you felt like you didn't have someone counting on you and only you? Do you feel like you can share what you are really struggling with with someone, anyone or do you fear rejection and judgment? Do you feel like you can't measure up? Do you feel trapped in your marriage or trapped in a rut with work and responsibilities? Do you feel worn out? Are you stuck in a downward spiral?

If you answered yes to any of these questions or if something else came to your mind that you may be struggling with (a death of someone close to you or fear of what is going on the world, etc.), then join the club. This seems to be the state of my life a lot of the time - pressures from work, home and church. Busy, busy, busy. Crying or whining kids. Need to mow, weed, and paint the deck. Then, a coworker my age has a husband die. Then, my car gets a tire stolen. Then... Well, you get the idea and I am certain that you are all to familiar with that life.

I got to thinking this morning, do I ever feel free? Am I free? Does anyone really feel free?

Let's find out what God has to say about this...

2 Corinthians 3:17 says:

"...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."

Therefore, if you're not free, you need the Spirit of the Lord. Sounds good, but how? Let's continue in His word and see what He says...

2 Corinthians 3:18 says:

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."

Therefore, if we are being transformed into his likeness, there is evidence that the Spirit of the Lord is with us. But that is not what we need to do, that is what happens. What we need to do is to unveil our faces in order to reflect the Lord's glory. What does it mean to unveil our faces and what is the veil that Paul is talking about? Let's look...

2 Corinthians 3:18 says (underlines added):

13"We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. 14But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. 15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away."

So, Moses was not allowing God's glory to reflect off of him so others would be able to see who God was. He was hiding or covering up God in His life with a veil. And the veil is taken away simply by turning to the Lord.

What I find in my own life is that when I am in a rut or struggling with the stresses and pressures of life that the last thing I want to do is turn to the Lord. In doing that, I am not allowing God to reflect off of me and I am living with unnecessary burdens - in the absence of freedom. In order to be released from this burden or restraint, all I need to do is turn to the Lord, let him take off my veil and reflect off of me His glory. Simply by turning to Him, I will be transformed into his likeness - I will be free! And so will you!

Being a Disciple means what?

Rob Bell spoke at Promise Keeper's last night (via video from http://www.nooma.com/) about what it means to be a disciple.

It really struck me because he spoke of the story of how the disciples were out on a boat in a storm when they saw an image of someone walking on water. After realizing it was Jesus, Peter got out of the boat and walked on water himself! Then, he began to sink, and here comes the interesting part. When Peter began to sink he said, "Jesus, help me!" Jesus replied back to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

What Rob suggests is that when Jesus says that, he is not referring to Peter's faith in Jesus, but Peter's belief that he can actually do what Jesus does. You see, back in the Jewish culture of that time, when you were called to be a "disciple" by a rabbi, it meant that the rabbi believed that you had what it takes to be like the rabbi or to do what the rabbi did. So, when Peter to that step out onto the water and actually didn't sink, he was being like Jesus. When he began to sink, he was starting to doubt in himself rather than lacking faith in Jesus - in fact, he actually called out to Jesus to save him showing faith in Jesus (and doubting himself).

As we are called to be Jesus' disciples and we go about our daily walk and struggle with faith, I would suggest that at times when our faith is weak - it's not always that we lack faith that God can do things but that we can actually be like Jesus and do what Jesus did. A lot of the time, we don't believe that we can actually do what Jesus did through our faith in Him.

I would be curious about your thoughts and opinions on this. Go ahead and respond through your comments.

Ever wonder where your kids get it? They're not the only ones...

As you read the following article, think about the things that you do - good and bad - that influence your children and/or others around you (coworkers/employees, nieces/nephews, new Christians, etc.)... What are you affirming in your kids by the way you live your life?

From article on www.christianitytoday.com

http://www.christianitytoday.com/leaders/newsletter/2006/cln60612.html

Like Father, Like Leader
My parenting style says much about my leadership.
by Gordon Dalbey, guest columnist

When my son was a toddler, we took hand-in-hand neighborhood strolls. He would pull at my protecting grip toward the street when a truck passed. Not wanting to punish him for the natural desire to touch a truck, I would drop to my knees, hold him tightly in my arms and say, "Daddy loves you; stay with me. Don't go into the street. Big owwy!"

Later my wife, Mary, took him to a program at a church facility on a busy street. As the program ended, all the kids jumped up and ran out of the room to play. The moms ran out after them, and Mary followed them outside. There, she told me, our son was standing on the sidewalk shouting to the other children, "No street! Owwy! Stay here!"

I was proud of my boy on that occasion. And I was gratified to hear my fathering seemed to be working. Like father, like son.

As a leader, I have discovered that effective leading is a lot like fathering.

Watch for what God is doing in people and bless it.President Kennedy once recalled, "If I walked out on stage and fell flat on my face, Father would say I fell better than anyone else." Good fathers look for opportunities to encourage their children, not with false praise, but with honest appraisal. This means being alert to your child's talent or gift, being quick to affirm it, and providing opportunities to exercise it. It's simple, but not easy for men today, because many did not receive this affirmation from their own fathers. But a man can change generational patterns with a conscious decision to get involved like this in his children's lives. The same is true for pastors, especially as we lead people who did not have good father models.

Once a young mother came to me distraught over her teenage son, who was staying out late at night and coming home drunk. "Where's his father?" I asked.

"Oh," she scoffed, he was a no-good addict who died of a drug overdose years ago."
"So what do you tell your boy when he finally sobers up?"

Her face twisted with fury. "I tell him, 'You're just like your father!'"

It's people like that teenager—and his mother—who need positive pastoral leadership.

As church leaders, we are to watch especially for activities that stir vitality and passion in church members, a common sign that the Spirit of God is at work, and speak well of it. Blessing God's work in others requires that we know him well enough to recognize it (Eph. 1:17-20). And it requires that we know our church members in small settings.

The shame of our natural inadequacies loses its power as we share openly with people we trust, and when we find from people we want to respect, like fathers and leaders, words of encouragement and genuine affirmation.

Don't coerce behavior, no matter how righteous, but lead into deeper relationship with Jesus.Cultural and religious models of fathering often mislead by teaching that a dad's job is to force a child to do the right thing. As a pastor, I sometimes found myself setting out grand visions for my church and proceeding to manipulate, shame, and coerce my parishioners into accomplishing them. Years of broken relationships, both personal and professional, eventually revealed to me my own manipulative behaviors, and their origin in faulty relationships I had with my forefathers.

Trying to force "proper behavior" without a loving hand of grace stirs rebellion because it violates the child's heart, which God has already oriented, if not to do the right thing, certainly to do what Dad does. "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children" (Eph. 5:1).

Recognize your faults, but don't pass them on.Sin is deep, but God gives us a deeper desire, to be restored to the Father's love. There's sin to deal with in us all. But Jesus, who is one with the Father (John 10:30), knows from the Cross how badly sin hurts us. He therefore leads us to the Father's heart not only with the sword of truth, but also with open, even broken arms of grace. "As a father has compassion on his children," the Psalmist declares, "so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him" (Ps. 103:13).

The leader must face that longing for restoration in himself and humbly surrender it to Jesus. Then he can recognize the longing in others and lead them at last to the Father who fulfills it.

I recall another time when my wife, son, and I were seated at the dinner table and an argument developed between her and me. At one point I snapped at her. Simmering, I turned fiercely to my mashed potatoes amid the tense silence—which was broken by the clattering of a spoon-on-plate and a loud sassy voice, "Mommy, this food is bad!"

Mary didn't have to speak. Her thin smile said it all. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, honey," I confessed. "I shouldn't talk to you that way and I promise I'll try not to do it again." Then, I turned to my son. "I'm sorry I showed you the wrong way to talk to Mommy. We won't talk to her like that again."

Like father, like son.

Like leader, like church.

Author and ministry leader Gordon Dalbey teaches on fathering and relationships. www.abbafather.com.

To respond to this newsletter, write to Newsletter@LeadershipJournal.net.Copyright © 2006 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
June 12, 2006

Men - Are You Too Nice for Church?

A recent article in "Today's Christian Woman" magazine was recently referred to me by my wife. The title of the article: No More Christian Nice Guy. The article was an interview of Paul Coughlin, author, Christian radio talk-show host and married father of three. He is the author of the book "No More Christian Nice Guy" and the website www.ChristianNiceGuy.com.

Here's a link to the whole article... http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2006/002/13.38.html

So, immediately I'm thinking that it cannot be a good sign if my wife is referring me to this article. After reading a few paragraphs, I realize why she referred it to me. I will share some excerpts of the article below along with my comments... Be ready to be challenged if you think of yourself as a "nice" guy and a "good" Christian.

So what's wrong with being nice?

If by "nice" you mean a person who's gentle and patient, then there's nothing wrong with that. Those attributes are fruits of the Spirit. But oftentimes when someone is described as a "nice" guy, it's not as it appears. Nice people are often passive; they're hiding behind that "niceness."... [Nice guys often] go with the flow - not because they agree with you, but because they're afraid of conflict.

But as followers of Christ, we're supposed to be honest with others. We're supposed to be salt and light to those who don't know Jesus (Matthew 5:13-16). It's difficult to be salt and light when you think you've got to be aggreeable all the time.

My comments: Recently, a pastor from our church asked a group of us a question... Are you a truth-teller or a grace-giver? He went on to explain that most of us tend to fall in one category or the other most of the time - even when the situation dictates the opposite. Jesus had the perfect balance. He knew exactly when to give grace and when to speak truth into a situation. As a sidenote... most often times He was giving grace to the undesirables and speaking truth to the religious leaders and His followers.

If nice is bad, what's the better alternative?

Being a Good Guy. A Good Guy is willing to enter into a conflict to be a redemptive force for good. He has a strong will. He takes chances on occasion. He's protective of those in his care. He stands up for injustice. Where a Nice Guy is pretty emotionless, a Good Guy is passionate about life. His way of living looks a lot more like the "abundant life" Jesus talks about in John 10:10.

My comments: Do you tend to let your boss, your neighbor, your coworker, or your spouse take advantage of you? Do you say no when you feel pressure to say yes? Do you share your real feelings with your spouse when she asks you your opinion?

This is just an excerpt, but based on this article, I would encourage guys that feel like this speaks to them to consider reading the book. By the way, the article does conclude by suggesting that this passivity can be for women as well.

The Sliver and the Log

A recent article on www.ChristianityToday.com:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/bcl/areas/leadership/articles/053106.html

The following excerpts are from this article written by Blaine Allen originally taken from When People Throw Stones. I have added my own comments as well.

In Blaine's article, he discusses the result of unjustified criticism and how to respond. What I realized for myself as a result of this article was that there are many times when I am the one giving the unjustified criticism. Or even criticism that is justified but still not the right thing to do. These types of opportunities are all over the place. What I am beginning to realize is that I can always criticize someone as long as I don't have to walk in their shoes. There is no one on the face of this planet that can do their job perfectly - or be the perfect husband, father, mother, wife, employee, boss, President, Senator or whatever.

So, when you feel tempted to criticize... Stop and think. Put on gentleness and kindness. When you receive criticism - be meek and gentle as well. This is the character of Christ and the fruit of the Spirit that we as Christians are called to live out.

Here are some excerpts:

Unjustified, off-the-wall criticism—how do you cope?

Let's look for a code of conduct that will help us when called to serve another with words.

[With] Meekness and Gentleness [of course]

He was at it again. A leader in the church where I was pastor—let's call him "Frank"—was running me down before others. Of course I heard about it on the grapevine. (Don't we all.) I could live with the fact that Frank didn't like my sermons. After speaking, I sometimes didn't like my sermons. I could even live with the fact that he mocked them. But then to tell others that I had attempted to sabotage a rather significant ministry when I was the one who had spent untold hours initiating and mobilizing that ministry, encouraging those who served in it; to hear that I was reckless with my expense account, that I had already personally eaten double the amount allotted to me; to hear that I had never met with him to talk about his concerns when I had spent hours over the years doing just that. I heard it on the grapevine, and when I checked those grapes out, I found that Frank really had said these things—and then some. He had really turned missionary about me.

I decided to confront Frank head on. He lied. By my public identification with the Lord whom I loved, he insulted him. He poisoned others against me. He made me look like a charlatan. That was it. No more.

"Either you cut it out, or I will nail your hide to the wall at the next board meeting. We will find out who's really been telling it like it is and who's telling it like it's not. We will find out who's lying."

That was the plan… pounded out on my pillow.

I'm glad I came to my senses and read how Paul handled his "Franks" in 2 Corinthians 10. There he lays out the spiritual parameters to any "take a stand" response: "By the meekness and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you." Paul could have argued his entire case with the very same words against his critics, without the "meekness and gentleness of Christ"—and grieved the heart of God.

Meekness.
When my son Brian was in his single digits in age, I tussled with him on the floor and pinned him every time. But leave him black and blue with broken bones? Of course not. Power available is not power applied. To prevent harm I practiced restraint. That's meekness. Though power to do much harm is available—through information, money, position, knowledge, contacts—it's curbed. You could ruin your critic—it's all within your grasp—and you don't.
Meekness waves a yellow flag and warns you to get out of the search-and-destroy mode. Two millennia ago, our Lord could have blown away His pharisaical critics forever simply with a thought. Boom! But though the capacity was there, the will was not. Paul said to his critics concerning his authority, "[It is] for building you up rather than pulling you down" (2 Cor. 10:8).

Meekness cannot jerk another down. It is a short leash on vengeful desire. It is the safety lock on the automatic of bitter words. With meekness, you and I can take the heat of any situation and not torch our detractors into crispy critics. We practice restraint.

Gentleness.
Quoting Isaiah 42:1–4, Matthew wrote of Christ, "He will not quarrel or cry out; no one will hear his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory" (Matt. 12:19–20). That's gentleness: a sensitivity salved with mercy. When the time comes for "take a stand words," words that very likely will hurt, gentleness shrinks the potential pain as much as possible. Meekness is restraint: our words don't blow the critic away; gentleness is release: our words are spoken with sensitivity. The first handles the negative, the second handles the positive. Neither keeps us from saying what needs to be said; they keep us from saying too much.

Of course, some critics see meekness and gentleness as personal frailty. But unhealthy Christians and unbelievers cannot appreciate qualities that characterize spiritual maturity (see 1 Cor. 2:11-3:9).

They look for what the world looks for: winning with clout. Not so for us, if we want to grow in our Lord. He values meekness and gentleness as parameters for any rationale for our behavior.

How do you feel toward your critic at this moment? Do you want to hurt him? Would you like to leave her broken and bent in shame? Or do you want to build your critic spiritually, hurting only as it is absolutely necessary? Would outsiders say that your proposed defense is gracious, or would they sense vindictiveness?

Probing questions like these deserve honest answers before any defense is made. We must "by the meekness and gentleness of Christ" appeal to our critics.

Running Yourself and Your Family Ragged?

An article by BGC President, Jerry Sheveland based on Ephesians 5:15-20

"15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ." - NIV

http://www.bgcworld.org/mag/0606bgc/89.pdf


Following are excerpts from the article in addition to some of my own commentary... I would encourage you to go to the link above to read the whole article, it is phenominal!

Kissing the Rat Race Goodbye
Three important questions from Ephesians 5 point us toward a saner way to live.

1 - Do you know what you really want?

Have you ever sat down to think about what your personal values are? Do the values that you live out match up with those that you might put down on paper? Do they line up with God's values?

Sherm Swenson's values as stated in the article: "Always put God first in all you do, including your business. Begin each day in God's Word and apply what you read and learn to your life. Expect great things of God. Never forget that it's better to have one person working with you than three people working for you. Always, always place more value on people than on products or programs. Always give God first pick of your profit. Be committed to integrity and honesty. Pursue excellence in all you do. Never, never forget to thank those responsible for making it happen."

Now, those are some values that I would love to live out!

2 - Do you know the season you're in?

"Are you in a season of mothering preschoolers? For education? For pursuing career goals? For deepening relationships? For pursuing God's mission?" We tend to fill up our calendars with the busyness of life - kids activities, work, taking care of the house, golf, shopping, etc. Do you ever hear yourself saying to people: "We need to get together, it's been forever since we've connected."

Jerry shares the story of Gladys Engfield who is in her 80's. "When her husband passed away, she said, “I felt lost. Then came a moment when I realized I’ve got a world of choices and opportunities in front of me. I wonder what God wants me to seize?” Before she gets up, she puts her calendar on one side of her bed, God’s Word on her lap and the blank page of her journal on the other side. As she studies the Scripture, she lifts her calendar to the Lord and says, “Look, these are the appointments I’ve got.” Then she holds up the empty sheet and says, “But your appointments for me are more important.” Gladys knows what time it is." Do you?

3 - Are you driving under the influence?

Is God in control of your schedule? Are you flexible enough to adjust your schedule if God wants you to? I remember the story from Henry Blackaby about a group of college students who were trying to start a Bible Study group on their college campus. They put up fliers and promoted it every way they could think of by nothing came out of it. They decided to pray and ask God to open up doors and promised that they would answer the call however He directed. One day, one of the girls on her way to class was approached by another girl. Even though she knew she would miss her class, she felt God prompting her to go speak with this girl. It turns out that this girl and some friends who had no background in church had started a Bible study but needed someone to help them understand what they were reading! Would you be flexible with your schedule if God was prompting you to be?

Are You Good Enough? Give Yourself (and others) a Little Grace...

A recent article in the BGC World written by Kay Swatkowski spoke about how we tend to lavish unrealistic expectations on ourselves in relation to our parenting. Specifically, she spoke of a time when she remembers promising to herself and her new baby that she would be the perfect parent and the child would have the perfect childhood:

"I will play dollies with you. I will push the swing. I will read to you every book that’s ever been written. I will do your homework with you. I will bake brownies. And I will never be cranky. I will never lose my temper. And I will never be impatient."

As she goes on to explain, these expectations are unrealistic and unattainable. She quotes Gary Thomas from his book, "Sacred Parenting, where he said: "I was expecting my parents to loe me the way onlyGod could love me. And I was expecting to love my children the way only God could love them."

As Kay says: "We are not God. We need to adjust our expectations."

Even though this does apply to our parenting. I believe this applies also to our lives in all of our roles: husband/wife, employee, and serving in church. Not only that, but it applies to those around us: our kids, our spouses, our employees, our bosses, our fellow Christians, our neighbors, etc. No one is perfect. We must let God be God and adjust our expectations by incorporating grace where criticism once ruled the day.

Giving God Props!

Do you really respect God? Do you know His Word? These are two questions that I was challenged with this morning as I read part of the beginning of 1 Samuel. If you read 1 Samuel 2:12-36 specifically, you are faced with these questions.

Excerpts: (thanks to www.Biblegateway.com)

"12 Eli's sons were wicked men; they had no regard for the LORD. 13 Now it was the practice of the priests with the people that whenever anyone offered a sacrifice and while the meat was being boiled, the servant of the priest would come with a three-pronged fork in his hand. 14 He would plunge it into the pan or kettle or caldron or pot, and the priest would take for himself whatever the fork brought up. This is how they treated all the Israelites who came to Shiloh. 15 But even before the fat was burned, the servant of the priest would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, "Give the priest some meat to roast; he won't accept boiled meat from you, but only raw."
16 If the man said to him, "Let the fat be burned up first, and then take whatever you want," the servant would then answer, "No, hand it over now; if you don't, I'll take it by force.""

- 1 Sam 2:12-16

These underlined portions highlight a couple of things...

1 - Eli's sons were wicked, they had no respect for the Lord. They were priests and yet they had no respect for God. They did what they wanted, when they wanted regardless of what impact that had on anyone else. They used their position of authority to get what they wanted.

Where do you put God in your life? Do you hold him in high regard? Or do you use him to get what you want when you want. Do you use your title as a Christian to manipulate people - to put yourself in a higher place than you ought?

2 - The laws that God had set up were very specific about what parts of the meat the priests were supposed to get. Eli's sons would disregard this, even when asked by a lay person. The lay people were more aware of God's Word than the priests!

How well do you know God's Word? Do you hold it in high regard? When confronted with the truth of Scripture, do you listen to it? Or do you ignore it unless it lines up with what you want?

Take some time to personally reflect on these questions. Ask God to show you what areas of your life you have been disrespecting Him. Then, listen and take to heart what He is telling you. Don't be like Eli's sons and disregard God's Word for your own selfish desires. There are consequences for our actions - blessings for doing good and curses for not.

So, what happened to Eli's sons anyway... Let's finish reading 1 Samuel 2:30-33:

30 "Therefore the LORD, the God of Israel, declares: 'I promised that your house and your father's house would minister before me forever.' But now the LORD declares: 'Far be it from me! Those who honor me I will honor, but those who despise me will be disdained. 31 The time is coming when I will cut short your strength and the strength of your father's house, so that there will not be an old man in your family line 32 and you will see distress in my dwelling. Although good will be done to Israel, in your family line there will never be an old man. 33 Every one of you that I do not cut off from my altar will be spared only to blind your eyes with tears and to grieve your heart, and all your descendants will die in the prime of life. "

I don't know about you, but I'd much rather give God is proper regard!

Where are the Men in the Church?

How might we provide a place where men can be and do what God wants them to? Any thoughts are welcome... cnobz03@yahoo.com

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2006/001/6.17.html

Too Few Good Men
Why church is a turnoff for guys, and how to recover a spirit that attracts them.

Why Men HateGoing to Church
by David Murrow Nelson, (2005)

David Murrow doesn't buy the idea that church is a men's club. While church leadership has remained dominated by males, he says that has done little to attract men to the larger church body. Murrow is the author of Why Men Hate Going to Church (Nelson, 2005).

Why are men turned off by the church?

Men don't do church very well. You have to be able to speak, read, and pray out loud in church culture, and the average man is not going to be as good at that as most women.

Secondly, we do almost nothing to try to attract men. We're constantly putting books in the hands of Christians telling them that the way to Christ is through a classroom experience and Bible studies. This whole idea of church as a "learning process" is going to attract more women than men.

On top of that, so much of the imagery used in the church is feminine. In the last fifty years, the dominant metaphor used to describe the Christian life has been "a personal relationship with Jesus Christ." Jesus' command was not to "have a personal relationship with me," but to "follow me." Men can handle that.

If the church has lost its masculine spirit, how has it been able to retain men in positions of authority?

The church is a weird animal. It's led by men, but populated predominantly by women. The spirit of a church when it is first founded is very masculine. But when a church becomes institutionalized, those masculine qualities become marginalized, so once a church is up and running, it begins to value more feminine gifts.

As a result, we have recruited a special type of man to lead most churches. We call him a pastor.
Pastors generally have to be nurturing and sensitive, but that's unlike most men. Studies have shown that men tend to be less verbal, less nurturing, less sensitive, less family-oriented. Yes, churches are run mainly by males, but the personality profiles of these men show that they are not usually typical males.

What can churches do to reflect more of that masculine spirit?

Churches don't plan based on the needs of the 19-year-old male construction worker; they plan based on the needs of the young mother with two kids, a minivan, and a mortgage. I think the number one thing we can do is ask exactly that question, "What can we do to attract more men?" That's a question that hasn't been asked in the church in a hundred years.

When we start creating a space where a young construction worker can meet Jesus Christ, then I think we're doing what Jesus did. He loved women, and he cared for them deeply, but he didn't build his church on them, but on the young male "construction workers" of his day.

How do women respond to this male-centered approach to church?

People think that when the masculine spirit comes back into the church, women are going to be oppressed and horrified. They're not. Women, especially younger women, are drawn to the masculine spirit. They love it.
What are churches doing to attract men successfully?When you find a church that is intentional about reaching men, you will usually see growth within that church.

There is a church in Arizona that wrote right into its constitution that men were going to be their primary outreach, and they've grown exponentially as a result.

One church in Peoria, Illinois, was started specifically to reach men. It is decorated with trophy bucks and camping equipment; the sermon is short, maybe nine or ten minutes long; and the pastor personally disciples a small group of men who are to go out and disciple other men in turn.

This church is doing it the way Jesus did it, and these men are sensing that this is something for them.

Copyright © 2006 by David Murrow Nelson, (2005) Reprinted from Leadership.

Small Group Leaders!

The Prepared and Prayerful Leader
How the right approach to your sessions can make your meetings more meaningful

Being an effective leader demands a planning and a prayerful heart.

When you go to prepare for each small group meeting, review the session and the leader's notes, and write down your responses to each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask group members to do something other than engage in discussion. These exercises will help your group live what the Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies (such as paper or pens) to your meeting.

Also, as you prepare, pray for your group members by name. Before you begin your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for each member. You may want to review the prayer list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together to touch the heart of every person. Expect God to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenge in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead!

One final challenge (especially for new or first-time leaders): Before your first opportunity to lead, look up each of the five passages listed below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help prepare yourself with a shepherd's heart:

1. Matthew 9:362.
1 Peter 5:2-43.
Psalm 234.
Ezekiel 34:11-165.
1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12

John Wooden, more than just a Coaching Legend...

Written by a sportswriter.......

On the 21st of the month, the best man I know will do what he always does on the 21st of the month. He'll sit down and pen a love letter to his best girl. He'll say how much he misses her and loves her and can't wait to see her again.

Then he'll fold it once, slide it in a little envelope and walk into his bedroom. He'll go to the stack of love letters sitting there on her pillow, untie the yellow ribbon, place the new one on top and tie the ribbon again. The stack will be 180 letters high then, because the 21st will be 15 years to the day since Nellie, his beloved wife of 53 years, died.

In her memory, he sleeps only on his half of the bed, only on his pillow, only on top of the sheets, never between; with just the oldbedspread they shared to keep him warm.

There's never been a finer man in American sports than John Wooden, or a finer coach. He won 10 NCAA basketball championships at UCLA, thelast in 1975. Nobody has ever come within six of him.

He won 88 straight games between January 30, 1971, and January 17,1974. Nobody has come within 42 since.

So, sometimes, when the Basketball Madness gets to be too much -- too many players trying to make Sports Center, too few players trying to make assists, too few coaches willing to be mentors, too many freshmen with out-of-wedlock kids, too few freshmen who will stay in school long enough to become men -- I like to go see Coach Wooden.

I visit him in his little condo in Encino, 20 minutes northwest of Los Angeles, and hear him say things like "Gracious sakes alive!" and tell stories about teaching "Lewis" the hook shot. Lewis Alcindor, that is...who became Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

There has never been another coach like Wooden, quiet as an April snow and square as a game of checkers; loyal to one woman, one school, one way; walking around campus in his sensible shoes and Jimmy Stewart morals.

He'd spend a half hour the first day of practice teaching his men how to put on a sock. "Wrinkles can lead to blisters," he'd warn. These huge players would sneak looks at one another and roll their eyes.

Eventually, they'd do it right. "Good," he'd say. "And now for the other foot."Of the 180 players who played for him, Wooden knows the whereabouts of172. Of course, it's not hard when most of them call, checking on his health, secretly hoping to hear some of his simple life lessons so that they can write them on the lunch bags of their kids, who will roll theireyes."

Discipline yourself, and others won't need to," Coach would say."Never lie, never cheat, never steal," and "Earn the right to be proud and confident."

If you played for him, you played by his rules: Never score without acknowledging a teammate. One word of profanity and you're done for the day. Treat your opponent with respect.

He believed in hopelessly out-of-date stuff that never did anything but win championships. No dribbling behind the back or through the legs."

There's no need," he'd say.

No UCLA basketball number was retired under his watch. "What about thefellows who wore that number before? Didn't they contribute to the team?" he'd say.

No long hair, no facial hair. "They take too long to dry, and you could catch cold leaving the gym," he'd say. That one drove his players bonkers.

One day, All-America center Bill Walton showed up with a full beard.

"It's my right," he insisted. Wooden asked if he believed that strongly.

Walton said he did. "That's good, Bill," Coach said. "I admire people who have strong beliefs and stick by them, I really do. We're going to miss you." Walton shaved it right then and there. Now Walton calls once a week to tell Coach he loves him.

It's always too soon when you have to leave the condo and go back out into the real world, where the rules are so much grayer and the teams so much worse.

As Wooden shows you to the door, you take one last look around. The framed report cards of his great-grandkids, the boxes of jellybeans peeking out from under the favorite wooden chair, the dozens of pictures of Nellie.

He's almost 90 now. You think a little more hunched over than last time. Steps a little smaller. You hope it's not the last time you see him. He smiles. "I'm not afraid to die," he says. "

Death is my only chance to be with her again."

Problem is * we still need him here."

There is only one kind of a life that truly wins, and that is the one that places faith in the hands of the Savior. Until that is done, we are on an aimless course that runs in circles and goes nowhere. Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters: John Wooden"

Food for Thought and Reflection...

Below is an article from Christianity Today that addresses those in our churches that appear to being living the Christian life the way God intended. This may include you. Take some time to reflect on whether or not you are in your Father's arms. Are you doing the life of a Christian or have you truly accepted the Grace that Christ has already given you?

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2005/004/17.138.html

Helping the "Healthy"

How do we preach saving grace to those who just aren't "good" at sinning?
by Craig Barnes

I have about decided that the most dangerous thing people can do in the church is be healthy. The leadership will either overuse them on committees and ministry teams, until they're no longer healthy, or we will just ignore them. Clergy have a particularly hard time knowing how to care for those who do not appear to be in trouble.

It isn't really that difficult to preach to prodigals. Pastors are well trained for this task, believe it is core to the gospel, and love nothing more than proclaiming the forgiving grace of God to the sinner. But what does the pastor have to say to all of those elder brothers who have faithfully stayed in the pews of the church their whole lives?

Face it—caring for the elder brother is a drag. He doesn't want any of our sexy recovery programs because he isn't divorced, bereaved, or addicted to anything other than playing it safe. He doesn't have a dramatic story to share because he never got around to making a mess of life before returning to the outstretched arms of the rejoicing Father. So all we say is "Well, you have always been here and we're proud of you, too. Now, about the stewardship committee—"
I am not exactly sure that the elder brother is spiritually healthy. The point of the parable, it seems to me, is that the goal is to find yourself in the arms of the Father. It may be that the elder brother was in greater danger of never finding those arms than the prodigal who had to run away to return to them. But that is precisely my concern. How do we preach saving grace to those who just aren't good at sinning?

The preacher has to remember that not being a flagrant sinner is a particularly seductive means of rebellion. This was essentially Jesus' point to the Pharisees. Those who have not broken the rules may be farther from the Father's arms than those who've broken most all of them. Sin is anything that separates us from God, and nothing does that quite like not feeling the need for mercy. Again, the point isn't to be good. The point is to get into those arms, and grace is the only way there.

This means preachers are called to peel back the veneer of spiritual health in the elder brothers, and help them to see that beneath all of those years of careful living lies a soul that is as dangerously parched as that of the prodigals. Their right answers, dedicated volunteerism, beautiful families, and well-marked study Bibles can keep them away from the love of the Father just as much as the prodigals' wantonness.

Whether he realizes it or not, like everyone else, the elder brother yearns to be in the right relationship with God. But for him, that requires repenting of his years and years of living so carefully that he doesn't need grace. This is not an easy point to make as a preacher.

Over the years, I have learned to get at this hard truth by telling short, subtle anecdotes. For example: "A woman is vacuuming one day, praying that God will make her a better mother. As she looks out the living room window, she sees her five-year-old son in the backyard. He is throwing a ball up in the air and clumsily trying to catch it. She doesn't know why, but she can't stop crying."

It is not necessary to interpret the story by making the obvious point that the goal is not to be a better mother, but gratefully to enjoy the child God has given her. With prodigals you have to be obvious, but with their careful, hard-working elder siblings, only subtlety will pierce through the self-righteousness. This is why Jesus liked parables so much.

Other preachers may prefer different strategies for speaking to those who have lived too carefully. But clearly, the healthy members of the church are in just as big trouble as everyone else. If we pastors ever get confused about that, we have only to look just beneath the surface of our own spiritual veneer.

Editor at large Craig Barnes is pastor of Shadyside Presbyterian Church and professor of leadership and ministry at Pittsburgh Theological Seminary in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

This article first appeared in the Fall of 2005 Leadership Journal.
Used by permission of Christianity Today International, Carol Stream, IL 60188

Living Your Life for Christ - Even in Sports

Polamalu has emerged as one of NFL's top safeties

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/sports/steelerslive/s_295403.html

Excerpt:

Then, there is Polamalu's faith, which is the strongest guiding force in his life. "God calls upon Christian football players to play with passion, just like the life you live."

Polamalu doesn't watch games that don't involve him (other than USC's victory in the Orange Bowl this year), so he said he acquired his instincts for the game "just playing in the park."
He said his skills are "mostly God given."

"I'm not trying to toot my own horn here," he said, "but it is definitely a blessing from God that he has allowed me to be very instinctual and just go out and play football. My faith has got everything to do with my performance, whether it's good or bad."

Polamalu said his faith has been important to him since he was about in the third grade and his grandmother Ese Pola died.

"It was very hard on me," he said. "I went to church, maybe, four or five times a week before she died, but I didn't really find meaning in that. But from then on, was when I started praying every night and started reading the Bible."

Even today, Polamalu reads the Bible -- and his playbook -- every day.

Time Management 101

Something that I struggle with from time to time is fitting everything that needs to be done in the time I have allotted and still leave time for fun. The following article on Christianity Today gives us a glimpse into God's perspective on time management via the example of Jesus. Pray and ask God to reveal to you what "work" he has been interrupting your life with that you have been missing.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2006/002/29.43.html

Schedule, Interrupted
Discovering God's time-management.
by Mark Buchanan


"Teach us to number our days aright," Moses asked God, "that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Ps. 90:12).

There is a right way to tally up days. There's an arithmetic of timekeeping, and God must tutor us in it. Wisdom is not the condition for learning this arithmetic. It's the fruit of it. Wisdom comes from learning to number our days aright. You don't need to be wise to sign up for God's school. But if you're diligent, attentive, and inquisitive in his classes, you'll emerge that way.

It's easy to get this wrong. God's school is not like most. It's not regimented, age-adjusted, fixed in its curricula. The classroom is life itself; the curriculum, all of life's demands and interruptions and tedium, its surprises and disappointments. In the midst of this, through these things themselves, God hands us an abacus and tells us to tally it all up.

Meaning?

Meaning, work out where time and eternity meet. Pay attention to how God is afoot in the mystery of each moment, in its mad rush or maddening plod. He is present in both. But too often, we are so time-obsessed that we take no time to really notice. I have a pastor friend in Toronto who one day after a Sunday service received a note: "Pastor Peter, I would appreciate it if you prayed shorter prayers. Your pastoral prayer this past Sunday was 12 minutes, 43 seconds in length. Please strive for greater brevity."

The note was unsigned. The only thing we know about this man, woman, or child is that the writer is so bound by time—counting the minutes—that he has never learned to number his days. This person can tell time, but not discern seasons.

Miss that, and you miss wisdom. For only those who number their days aright gain a wise heart. Only they become God's sages: those calm, unhurried people who live in each moment fully, savoring simple things, celebrating small epiphanies, unafraid of life's inevitable surprises and reverses, adaptive to change yet not chasing after it.

The Ironic Secret
I write this at a time when the church talks much about being purpose-driven. This is a good thing, but we ought to practice a bit of holy cynicism about it. We should be a little uneasy about the pairing of purposefulness and drivenness. Something's out of kilter there. Drivenness may awaken purpose or be a catalyst for purpose, but it rarely fulfills it: More often it jettisons it.

A common characteristic of driven people is that, at some point, they forget their purpose. They lose the point. The very reason they began something—embarked on a journey, undertook a project, waged a war, entered a profession, married a woman—erodes under the weight of their striving. Their original inspiration may have been noble. But driven too hard, it gets supplanted by greed for more, or dread of setback, or force of habit.

Drivenness erodes purposefulness.

The difference between living on purpose and being driven surfaces most clearly in what we do with time. The driven are fanatical time managers—time-mongers, time-herders, time-hoarders. Living on purpose requires skillful time management, true, but not the kind that turns brittle, that attempts to quarantine most of what makes life what it is: the mess, the surprises, the breakdowns, and the breakthroughs. Too much rigidity stifles purpose. I find that the more I try to manage time, the more anxious I get about it.

And the more prone I am to lose my purpose.

Truly purposeful people have an ironic secret: They manage time less and pay attention more. The most purposeful people I know rarely overmanage time, and when they do, it's usually because they're lapsing into drivenness, into a loss of purpose for which they overcompensate with mere busyness. No, the distinguishing mark of purposeful people is not time management.

It's that they notice. They're fully awake.

Zigzags and Detours
Jesus, for example. He lived life with the clearest and highest purpose. Yet he veered and strayed from one interruption to the next, with no apparent plan in hand other than his single, overarching one: Get to Jerusalem and die. Otherwise, his days, as far as we can figure, were a series of zigzags and detours, apparent whims and second thoughts, interruptions and delays, off-the-cuff plans, spur-of-the-moment decisions, leisurely meals, serendipitous rounds of storytelling.

Who touched me?You give them something to eat.Let's go to the other side.

Jesus was available—or not—according to some oblique logic all his own. He had an inner ear for the Father's whispers, a third eye for the Spirit's motions. One minute he's not going to the temple, the next he is. One minute he refuses to help a wedding host solve his wine drought, the next he's all over it. He's ready to drop everything and rush over to a complete stranger's house to heal his servant, but dawdles four days while Lazarus—"the one he loves"—writhes in his death throes (John 11:3), or fails to come at all when John the Baptist—"the greatest in the kingdom of heaven"—languishes on death row (Matt. 11:1-11). The closest we get to what dictated Jesus' schedule is his statement in John's Gospel: "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit" (John 3:8).

The apostle Peter, after declaring that Jesus is "Lord of all," describes the supreme Sovereign's modus operandi: "God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and … he went around doing good" (Acts 10:36, 38, emphasis mine). So that's it, the sum of Christ's earthly vocation: He wandered, and he blessed. He was a vagabond physician, the original doctor without borders. His purpose was crystallized, but his method almost scattershot. "My whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted," Henri Nouwen said near the end of his life, "until I discovered the interruptions were my work."

Paying Attention
No, Jesus didn't seem to keep time. But he noticed. So many people along the way—blind men, lame men, wild men, fishermen, tax men, weeping whores, pleading fathers, grieving mothers, dying children, singing children, anyone—captured his attention. He stopped to tell a lot of stories, many of which arose out of interruptions: "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me" (Luke 12:13); "Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" (Luke 10:25); "Son of David, have mercy on me!" (Matt. 15:22). What's more, he invited others to go and do likewise. Those driven to get and spend, to judge and exclude, he called to attention.

Look at the birds!
Look at those flowers!
Do you see this woman?
Where are the other nine?
Why do you call me good?
Who do you say I am?

Life does not consist in the abundance of our possessions, Jesus warned. And then he told a story about a rich fool who noticed all the trivial things but was oblivious to all the important ones. What matters, Jesus concluded, isn't being rich in stuff: It's being rich toward God. He explained the essence of such richness elsewhere: It's having eyes to see, ears to hear. It's to notice, to pay attention to the time of God's visitation. "The dream of my life," Mary Oliver writes,

Is to lie down by a slow riverAnd stare at the light in the trees—To learn something of being nothingA little while but the richLens of attention.

Jesus was that "rich lens of attention."

To live on purpose means to go and do likewise. Purposefulness requires that we pay attention, and paying attention means, almost by definition, that we make room for surprise. We become hospitable to interruption. To sustain it, we need theological touchstones for it—a conviction in our bones that God is Lord of our days and years, and that his purposes and his presence often come disguised as detours, messes, defeats.

I came to you naked, Jesus says. I came to you thirsty.

"When, Lord?" we ask, startled.

When he wore the disguise of an interruption.

Think a moment of all the events and encounters that have shaped you most deeply and lastingly. How many did you see coming? How many did you engineer, manufacture, chase down?

And how many were interruptions?

Children? You might have planned as meticulously as a NASA rocket launch, but did you have any idea, really, what it would be like, who this child in your arms really was, who you would become because of him or her? The span between life as we intend it and life as we receive it is vast. Our true purpose is worked out in that gap. It is fashioned in the crucible of interruptions.

The Crucible of Interruptions
The movie Mr. Holland's Opus tells the story of a man with a magnificent ambition. He wants to be a great composer. But he still has to pay the bills, so he and his young wife move to a small town where he teaches high school music, strictly for the money. All the while, he works on his masterpiece, his opus, laying the ground for his real calling. The plan is to teach for a few years, then step into his destiny.

But life keeps intruding. One year folds into two, into five, into fifteen. And then one day, Mr. Holland is old, and the school board shuffles him out for early retirement. He packs his desk. His wife and grown son come to fetch him. Walking down the school's wide, empty hallways, he hears a sound in the auditorium. He goes to see what it is.

It's a surprise.

Hundreds of his students from his years of teaching—many now old themselves—dozens of his colleagues, both current and former, hundreds of friends, fans, and well-wishers: The room is packed. All have gathered to say thank you. An orchestra is there, made up of Mr. Holland's students through the years. They've been preparing to perform Mr. Holland's Opus—the composition that, over four decades, he hammered out and tinkered with, polished, discarded, recovered, reworked, but never finished.

They play it now.

But of course he knows, everyone knows: His opus isn't the composition. His real opus, his true life's masterpiece, stands before him, here, now. It's not the music. It is all these people whom his passions and convictions have helped and shaped. It's all that was being formed in the crucible of interruptions. This is his work. This is his purpose.

Finally, after all these years, he's learned to number his days.

In 1973, the comedian Johnny Carson nearly caused a national crisis with a single wisecrack. That was the year North America's long flight of postwar prosperity fell to earth like a shot goose in one ungainly plummet. There was runaway inflation. There were oil and food shortages. All the abundance that Americans had come to see as their due, their birthright, suddenly seemed in jeopardy.

And so, on December 19, 1973, at 11:35 p.m., when Johnny Carson walked on the live studio set of The Tonight Show and quipped, "There's an acute shortage of toilet paper in the United States," it wasn't funny. The joke had a toehold in reality: Earlier in the day, Congressman Harold Froehlich from Wisconsin had warned that if the federal bureaucracy didn't catch up on its supply bids, government agencies would run out of toilet tissue within a month or two. Carson took this shard of trivia and played it for a laugh. Then, as was his trademark, he swung at an invisible golf ball, took a commercial break, and got on with the show.

Not so the nation. Twenty million viewers flew into panic. The next morning, hundreds of thousands of frantic shoppers lined up outside the supermarkets of America, poised to dash to the paper aisles and stockpile rolls, fighting over bundles of two-ply and four-ply. There were brawls in the aisles and scrums at the checkout. Some store managers tried to limit sales to four rolls per customer, but they had no way of monitoring how many times a customer came back, and most came back repeatedly. By noon on December 20—mere hours after Johnny's flippant remark—America was sold out.

Johnny Carson's offhand gag line had sparked a national run (no pun intended) on toilet tissue.

We're generally gullible about news of scarcity. We have, it seems, an inbuilt skittishness about shortfall. This has been with us a long while, since the garden, by my reckoning.

Most of us live afraid that we're almost out of time. But you and I, we're heirs of eternity. We're not short of days.

We just need to number them aright.

Mark Buchanan's latest book, from which this article is excerpted, is The Rest of God: Restoring Your Soul by Restoring the Sabbath (Word, 2005).

This article first appeared in the February 2006 issue of Christianity Today. Used by permission of Christianity Today International, Carol Stream, IL 60188

"Living Stones" or "Concrete Stones"

In 1 Peter 2:5, Peter says: "...you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ."

This is the verse that Pastor Petersen referred to last night at our Annual Meeting in reference to the focus of our new construction at Central Baptist Church. From the very beginning of the project, the focus has continued to be on God, what He is doing in and through the people of Central and what direction He is leading us.

This verse seems to capture that focus and was a great reminder for me on a night when I would stand in awe of the size and magnitude of the structure being built. This is what gripped me last night (again, thanks to what God has been doing already and what I believe He will continue to do): all I could think about as I was walking through the huge hallway and gawking at all of the rooms and space and peering down into the gym was, "Think of the people that we can reach for Christ."

I found myself so excited about what God might do in this place. I found myself praising Him for providing for the expenses for the project so far. Then, it hit me. Are we ready? Are we ready for the opportunities that God has in store for us? How is He preparing us?

As Peter says, we are "living stones...being built into a spiritual house". The questions that come to me are, "How am I being built?" and "What am I being built for (what purpose)?" The time is now for God to prepare us for what we will do when the new sanctuary is open and the gym is ready to be used. There will be more opportunity for people to come for events, concerts, basketball leagues, youth events, and Sunday morning worship. The question for each of us is: "Where do I fit into the spiritual house? What is my role? What is my sacrifice?"

As Peter said, our purpose is to "be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ." Over the next few months, I am challenging myself - and you - to seek God's direction for your involvement at Central. There is no doubt going to be a lot of adjustments for everyone. It will be different for everyone. The cool part about change is that there are new opportunities that open up. What is God stirring up in your heart? Pray about it. Talk about it with others. Watch what happens, because God will knock your socks off if you just ask Him - and there's nothing more fun to be a part of. Oh, did I mention to pray - there is nothing more important or significant we can do.

Are you plugged in - or unplugged?

http://www.christianitytoday.com/le/2005/003/23.96.html

Continuous Voltage
Spiritual strength, as Billy Graham experienced it, means remaining connected to your power Source.
by Harold Myra and Marshall Shelley

Billy Graham's colleagues often speak of the constant pressure Billy has always felt. It's easy to see why. Imagine the pressure of conducting the funeral for the disgraced former President Richard Nixon while the nation skeptically watched and listened for every nuance. Imagine the emotional demands on him when he conducted the memorial service after the Oklahoma City bombing.

The service at the National Cathedral right after the September 11 attacks presented perhaps the greatest pressure of all. The nation was in deep shock; the entire world would be watching on television. Billy's words and tone, both for Americans and for people of all other nations, had to be just right.

That would be challenge enough for a person at the height of his strength. But it was a frail octogenarian with serious health problems who mounted the platform with steady purpose and told the nation, "God is our refuge and strength; an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea."
With inner strength, Billy declared, "You may be angry at God. I want to assure you that God understands these feelings you have. But God can be trusted, even when life seems at its darkest. From the cross, God declares, 'I love you. I know the heartaches and the sorrows and the pains you feel, but I love you.'

"This has been a terrible week with many tears. But also it's been a week of great faith. … And [remember] the words of that familiar hymn that Andrew Young quoted, 'Fear not, I am with thee. Oh, be not dismayed, for I am thy God and will still give thee aid.'"

Despite his frailty, Billy's presence, poise, and message touched the sorrows and fears and brought hope and a deeply Christian response to his nation and to the world. He found the inner resources to rise to that momentous occasion.

Even in the latter years of his eventful ministry, Billy continued in the nitty-gritty of leading his organization; continued to sweat over the funding of three events in Amsterdam that brought together 10,000 itinerant evangelists, 70 percent of them from poor, developing countries; continued to appear on news shows to represent the gospel; continued to minister to every U.S. president of his era. In the phrase voiced by President George W. Bush when Billy was hospitalized and unable to attend the funeral of Ronald Reagan, Billy was "the nation's pastor"—but he was also the leader of an organization and of a vast movement.

How could he maintain the strength and sense of commitment to do all that for more than sixty years?

Billy has not been impervious to the pressures; his body and psyche have paid a steep price. But he has taken his own advice, so often expressed in his newspaper columns, books, and articles. He has continually plugged himself into the spiritual and psychological voltage that has made this half-century saga possible.

From the beginning, his spiritual power has come from prayer and the Bible. His colleague, T. W. Wilson, called him "the most completely disciplined person I have ever known." The discipline started around 7:00 a.m. each day, when he would read five psalms and one chapter of Proverbs. He started there because, as he often said, the psalms showed him how to relate to God, while Proverbs taught him how to relate to people. After breakfast he would pray and study more Scripture. Even under the pressure of travel schedules moving him from city to city, often through many time zones, he strove to study and pray each morning.

Some close to Billy describe him as more adaptive to circumstances in fitting in study and prayer, but all emphasize his spending large amounts of time connecting with his source of wisdom, cleansing, and power.

As Billy said, "Unless the soul is fed and exercised daily, it becomes weak and shriveled. It remains discontented, confused, restless."

Even in his early days of youthful vigor, he was intensely aware of his need for that power.

We talked about that with Billy's younger brother, Melvin Graham, shortly before Melvin passed away.

When Billy left the family farm at age 20, Melvin had stayed on—back when plowing was done with mules. At nearly 80 years old, Melvin was still active in land development.

We asked, "Where do you think Billy's spiritual growth came from?"

"Billy Frank would interact with just about anybody," he said. "It didn't matter who they were, kings or paupers. He studied a lot. He prayed a lot. He'd get on his knees and flatten out on the ground and call on the Lord. I've seen him."

Melvin suddenly pulled up his chin and said, "Tell you what—there was a fella named Bill Henderson, had a little grocery store in the black section of Charlotte—just a run-down little dump of a place. He was a tiny guy. He had long sleeves that came way down, and he wore a tie that hung down below his waist. But I tell you, that little old man, he knew the Bible!

"This was probably the late forties," Melvin explained, "and Billy had been around a lot of places."

We nodded, remembering this was when Billy was United Airlines' top traveler and had preached in many European cities.

Melvin wagged his head in wonder. "Henderson barely made a living. It was a place people would come to get chewing tobacco and stuff like that. Most people loved him, but that little man got beat up many times, got his store robbed time and time again, but he just loved the Lord. Billy loved to hear Bill Henderson tell him about the Scriptures, because he lived them; it wasn't weekend Christianity. And Henderson could pray. He'd pray for Billy and his young ministry. And he witnessed all the time."

"Did this influence Billy's focus on evangelism?"

"Absolutely," replied Melvin. "In the afternoons Billy would go there and sit on an old crate—I don't think they had a chair in the place—and let Bill teach him."

Melvin's word picture is instructive: young Billy Graham, while traveling widely to address large audiences, taking time to sit on a crate to learn from Bill Henderson. This image was consistent as we interviewed those who knew Billy: he was constantly learning, from self-taught store owners to executives, professors, pastors, presidents—and his candid, well-read wife. We heard over and over again, "He was always learning, always teachable."

When strength fades

When Billy's 1957 New York campaign was so effective that the pastors asked him to stay for another month of meetings, he told his associate Grady Wilson he didn't think he could make it even one more day. "All of my strength has departed from me," he said. "I've preached all the material I can lay my hands on. Yet God wants me here."

In all, he wound up preaching virtually every night for over three months in Madison Square Garden and making additional public appearances and speaking other times during the day. Grady believed it was "the prayers of people all over the world" that gave Billy the needed stamina for the task. Yet he also believed that the grueling time in New York drew down his reserves. "Since that time, I don't believe he's ever regained all his strength."

Cliff Barrows agrees. "Bill was so weary in the latter few weeks, he felt he just couldn't go another day, but the Lord kept giving him strength. But at the end of the meetings, something left him, something came out of him physically that has never been replaced." Until then a highly energetic preacher, afterward the active and rapid-fire delivery began to be replaced by a quieter strength.

Graham cut back on the number of crusades he held. Billy's autobiography lists 19 crusades he held in 1961. For 1962, it lists six.

Significantly, in 1962, while Graham conducted a crusade in Chicago, his media adviser, Walter Bennett, offered advice to some senior aides of Martin Luther King Jr., whom Billy had met and invited to give a prayer at the watershed New York City meetings.

Bennett analyzed the King team's approach to event organization and media relations. He warned that King would burn out if the minister continued his break-neck pace of speaking at small churches before modest audiences. Bennett suggested that King should aim for fewer events but more large-scale.

Perhaps that advice influenced the King team. One year later, King exhibited exceptional media savvy and organizational acumen during his defining moment, the March on Washington, where he made his historic "I have a dream" speech.

Billy had learned that not only is it important to connect to continuous voltage, it's also vital to monitor the way the energy is expended.

Despite a recurring sense of being drained, Billy didn't quit. Pastor Warren Wiersbe said: "When Billy stood up to speak one night, I thought, This guy is not going to make it. You could tell he was not at his best physically; he just didn't look like he was up to it. And then something happened, like you plugged in a computer—that power was there. The minute he stepped into that pulpit and opened his Bible, something happened. I've heard him say that when he gets up to preach, he feels like electricity is going through him."

This is the picture so often described by his colleagues: weakness drawing on the Spirit.

Prayer's quiet intensity

One of Billy's crusade organizers, Rick Marshall, in his first meeting with Billy, was amazed by his being so open about his weakness and by his humble prayers. "I remember thinking to myself, This is Billy Graham? It was such a contrast to the persona I had watched filling the stadium with his booming voice and authority. But when I was actually with the man, I was overwhelmed by the humility, the raw honesty before God about his own inability and physical limitations."

Rick quoted Paul's statement, "When I am weak, then I am strong," as the basis for this strange mixture of strength through weakness. Like Paul, Billy leaned into his weaknesses.

"Now think about it," Rick said. "If anyone could have been confident, it would have been Billy. But I never saw that. I saw only humility and a bowed head. In fact, I made a point for the last twenty campaigns to bring a team of pastors to pray with him every night before he went into the pulpit. That, I think, became for him one of the most important moments. It was his way, too, of saying, 'I don't do this in my own strength.'"

Billy described it this way: "When we come to the end of ourselves, we come to the beginning of God."

"Every time I give an invitation, I am in an attitude of prayer," he says. "I feel emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. It becomes a spiritual battle of such proportions that sometimes I feel faint. There is an inward groaning and agonizing in prayer that I cannot possibly put into words."

This intensity in prayer was even at the humble beginnings of his ministry. Biographer William Martin recounts the story from Roy Gustafson, one of Billy's groomsmen and a close colleague. Roy, Billy, and two other men were walking out in the hills, talking about an important decision. They agreed to pray. Billy said, "Let's get down on our knees."

Roy was wearing his only good suit, so he got his handkerchief out, laid it down carefully, and knelt on it. As they prayed, Billy's voice sounded muffled to him. Roy opened his eyes and saw that while three of them were gingerly kneeling, Billy was flung out prostrate on the ground, praying fervently, oblivious to the dirt.

Billy's prayer connection was not only unusually fervent, it was also as natural to him as breathing. Perhaps most of the time his prayer life was not overt and conscious but more like a computer application that runs in the background—fully functioning but not seen on the screen.

A. Larry Ross, who served as Billy's director of media and public relations for more than 23 years, told us about his initial discovery of this side of Billy's prayer connection.

"The very first time I set up a network interview for Mr. Graham was with NBC's Today show in 1982. I went in the day before to meet with the producers and ensure everything was set. I assumed Mr. Graham would want to have a time of prayer before he went on national television, so I secured a private room. After we arrived at the studio the following morning, I pulled T. W. Wilson aside and said, 'Just so you know, I have a room down the hall where we can go to have a word of prayer before he goes on TV.'

"T.W. smiled at me and said, 'You know, Larry, Mr. Graham started praying when he got up this morning, he prayed while he was eating his breakfast, he prayed on the way over here in the car they sent for us, and he'll probably be praying all through the interview. Let's just say that Mr. Graham likes to stay "prayed up" all the time.'

"We didn't need to use that room," Ross added. "That was a great lesson for me to learn as a young man."

Trust the power given

Because Billy realized the power didn't come from him but came through him, he didn't feel obligated to overreach with his methods.

Jack Hayford, himself a powerful preacher, observed, "Billy Graham reveals a remarkable absence of the superficial, of hype, or of pandering to the crowd. His communication consistently avoids exaggeration or 'slick' remarks. There's never been anything cutesy or clever about his style. There are no grandiose claims or stunts employed to attract attention. Graham merely bows in prayer while seekers come forward—moved by God, not a manipulative appeal."

That confidence in the power of the message frees the leader from having to work over-hard on presentation techniques to convince the hearers. When a basketball player is not in a position to take a shot but puts it up anyway, coaches call it "forcing the shot."

Forced shots are usually ineffective. Coaches will tell players to wait until they're in a good position, then the shot has a better chance of success. Likewise, people can sense that efforts are forced when a leader isn't convinced his message has spiritual power.

Because Billy was well connected to his continuous voltage, he knew where the power came from. He simply made himself available to receive it.

Harold Myra is CEO of Christianity Today International.
Marshall Shelley is editor of Leadership and a vice president of Christianity Today International.

Next year marks the 50th anniversary of the founding of Leadership's sister publication Christianity Today, which was envisioned and launched by Billy Graham. In preparing for that event, Christianity Today International CEO Harold Myra and Leadership editor Marshall Shelley felt the story of Billy's leadership had not adequately been told. Their book The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham (Zondervan, 2005) explores the public and the private sides of Billy's influence and identifies the transferable principles behind his leadership that can benefit church, business, and other kinds of leaders.

This article is adapted from the book.
Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Leadership Journal.

Are you where He wants you?

(from the KLOVE devotional publication: "On the Right Note")

A Mist or an Outpouring?

"The Lord God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground." - Genesis 2:5

At the beginning of creation God caused a mist to come up from the earth and water the ground. Up until that time there had been no downpour from the heavens. Why? Because "there was not a man to till the ground." There's a lesson here: there are some things God has planned to do, made provision for doing and desires to do - that He will not do until we get into the place where we can receive what He longs to give.

The blessing is there, safe in God's keeping. The need is there, persistent in its pain and suffering. But the blessing won't be applied until our hearts are in a position for God to act. Oh, you may be experiencing a "mist," in your spirit, but you konw God has something more for you! You have an uneasiness, a frustration that causes you to say, "Why am I no further along?" Rather than blaming the people in your life or the circumstances around you, you need to pause, look up and ask: "Lord, are You waiting for me to get into the right place?" When you ask that question be prepared to hear His answer and obey it, even if it means rearranging your priorities, leaving your comfort zone, breaking old habit patterns, and paying the price to have what God wants you to have. What does He want you to have? Not a mist, but an outpouring of His blessing!

Pleasing the Father

"This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." - Matthew 3:17

When Jesus stepped into the River Jordan to be baptized byJohn, He was stepping into the fullness of God's purpose for His life. Ever stopped to think that when Jesus walked into those waters they were teeming with the sins of mankind? John had baptized multitudes there, their sins figuratively passing from them inot the sea of God's forgetfulness just as the waters of the Jordan end up in the Dead Sea.

Now you might think: "How awful! Jesus is wading into sin." But Jesus was doing so to fulfill the purpose of God - redemption for you and me. Jesus was exactly where God wanted Him to be, doing precisely what God wanted Him to do. That's why heaven announced, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased."

Don't expect God to speak up for you or cause others to see you for who you really are, until you're willing to step into the place He's clled you to. And that may mean stepping into some muddy waters! But when you do you won't have to speak up for yourself, fight for yourself or demand anything of others. God will command whatever forces are involved to yield to you, give to you, honor you, listen to you and obey you. You won't have to grope for the right answer or wonder if something's right or wrong for you. God will giveyou the ability and resources you need. Why? Because you're where He wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do!

My own comments: Have you been getting a taste of what God might have in store for you? Has God been lighting a spark in your life that is just waiting to be a flame - waiting on you to be where God wants you? Is there something that you've been resisting in your life because of the fear of change, or of not wanting to be uncomforable?

Don't let that fear quench the fire. Where does God want you? Just ask Him, He will show you.

As a father, are you really there?

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2006/001/26.48.html

The Power of a Father's Blessing
What former NFL pro Bill Glass has learned after 36 years of prison ministry.
Interview by Nancy Madsen posted 09/12/2006 09:00 a.m.

In his day, Bill Glass was one of the most outstanding football players in the National Football League, playing on the 1964 champion Cleveland Browns and making the NFL Pro Bowl four times. In 1969, long before prison ministry became popular among evangelicals, Glass founded what is now called Champions for Life. The ministry invites professional athletes to speak to prisoners, following up with trained volunteers who commit themselves to building lasting relationships with juvenile inmates. After three-and-a-half decades of ministry, Glass, with Terry Pluto, has written Champions for Life: The Healing Power of a Father's Blessing (Faith Communications, 2005) to address an issue that is sorely affecting the fabric of the nation.

What is our country's biggest problem?
A lack of the father's blessing. The FBI studied the 17 kids that have shot their classmates in little towns like Paducah, Kentucky; Pearl, Mississippi; and Littleton, Colorado. All 17 shooters had only one thing in common. They had a father problem. I see it so much; it's just unbelievable. There's something about it when a man doesn't get along with his father. It makes him mean; it makes him dangerous; it makes him angry.

On the day before Father's Day, I was in North Carolina in a juvenile prison. I ate lunch with three boys. I asked the first boy, "Is your dad coming to see you tomorrow on Father's Day?"

He said, "No, he's not coming."

"Why not?"

"He's in prison."

I asked the second boy the same question and got the same answer.

I asked the third one why his dad wasn't coming, and he said, "He got out of prison about nine months ago, and he's doing good, and I'm proud of my father. He's really going to be a good dad to me, and he's going to go straight."

I could tell he was protesting so strongly because something was still wrong. So I said, "How many times has he been here to see you since he got out nine months ago?"

He said, "He hasn't made it yet."

"Why not?"

"Well, he lives way, way away."

"Where does he live?"

"He lives in Durham."

Durham was only two hours away. I had come 1,500 miles to visit the boy. His dad couldn't come two hours? There are a lot of fathers who are really deserters. When I'm in prison, I always challenge the inmates to bless their kids. If you want to keep your kids out of prison, bless them.

What was your relationship with your father like?
My earliest recollections are that my father would sit on my bedside and rub my back and tell me what a fine boy I was, and almost every night, he would kiss me on the mouth. He was a pro baseball player, a very manly man. But he had no problem expressing his love and blessing to me and to my brother and sister.

My dad died when I was only 14 years old, and he had been sick for about two years before he died. I had a huge hole in my heart. I felt despairing. My mother was very loving and warm, but it just wasn't the same as when my dad was there.

My coach was told that I had lost my father and that it really hit me hard. So every day after workout, he'd stay out with me, and he'd teach me how to play football. He would walk with me after workout to the dressing room with his arm around me. He'd ask me to sit beside him on the bus going out to the game, and he'd just talk to me. Then at noon he'd meet with me, and we'd lift weights for about an hour. I moved from being the slowest, smallest player on the team to, within a year, being unblockable, because I learned good fundamentals. And I didn't even like football then. The only reason I played was because I wanted my father's blessing.

A kid who is searching desperately for a blessing will put himself in all sorts of contortions in order to get it. You see this in gangs. Kids get into gangs because they want to be accepted by a family. Most kids that get into gangs have no father relationship. So, as a result, they go into the gang, because the gang promises them that they're going to be part of a family. "I've got your back, and I'm going to watch you all the way, and I'm with you no matter what." They have these little teardrop tattoos. Have you seen them on a kid's face? Those little tattooed teardrops stand for some heinous crime they committed in order to get into the gang—the initiation fee. If I have to kill someone to get into the gang, I'll do it, because I need to feel that I'm part of a family. And only a father can make a child feel that way. A mother, by herself, has a hard time ever doing that. All those guys on death row love their mothers. It's their fathers they've got the problem with.

Describe this concept of the father's blessing.
You see it in Genesis 27:30–38, where Isaac is blessing his son, and Jacob steals Esau's blessing and his birthright. Four times in those eight verses, Esau begs for his father's blessing, but it's never forthcoming. The Scripture says Esau always hated Jacob for that. The emphasis is more on the blessing than it is on the birthright.

The blessing always involves a hug and a kiss. Not the kiss of abuse, but the kiss of blessing—there's a vast difference. You can't force yourself on your child, but you can hug them and get close to them physically to a certain degree without embarrassing them or turning them off.

I found my kids love to be hugged and kissed. I grab my little girl by her ears and look into her eyes and say, "I love you, I bless you, I think you're absolutely terrific." That's easy with her because she's little and dainty. But I've got two boys, 280 and 290 pounds. One played pro ball, and both played college ball. They're 6'6", bench press 500 pounds, and are bigger than I am, but I grabbed that eldest son of mine recently and said, "I love, I bless you, I think you're terrific, and I'm so glad you're mine." His shoulders began to shake and his eyes filled with tears and he said, "Dad, I really needed that."

It's got to be said out loud. It's got to be stated. It's not like the lawyer that's getting a divorce and the judge says, "How often did you tell your wife you loved her?" and he replies, "I told her the day I married her and then never told her differently."

The blessing is also unconditional and continuous. If it's conditional, it's not love; it's a negotiation. I was in a prison in Texas recently where they've got 300 boys ages 10 to 15. These boys have committed every crime you can imagine. I asked the warden, "How many of these boys got a visit from their father in the past year?"

He said, "One, and he only stayed 15 minutes, got into a fight with his son, and stomped out mad." They're not fathers, because fathers hang with their kids no matter what. I know a lot of fathers that disown their kids because they go to prison. But it's got to be something that is continuous and unconditional in order to be a real blessing, in order to be real love.

What do you tell people who have had bad relationships with their fathers?
I think that the dangerous thing about this whole concept [of a father's blessing] is that I could imply to some poor kid that he's a criminal because he didn't get his dad's blessing. But the answer is to say to him that he needs to find a substitute father.

Fred Smith is now my substitute father. He's 90 years old and a man of great wisdom, a man of deep spiritual beliefs. I don't make any major decisions until I check with him. In fact, I've been taking him to Dallas every other day for the last two years—picking him up out of his wheelchair and putting him into a dialysis chair. He's just amazing. He can hardly walk, but you'd better be on your toes if you're talking to him. He's as sharp as a tack.

One reason I think our prison ministry is so effective is that our counselors are like substitute fathers for the kids. They have to meet once a week for 2 hours for 12 weeks. We've had unusual success with that. We only have about 10 percent who get back into trouble, instead of the normal 80 percent. It incorporates everything I'm talking about—the blessing, conversion, mentoring, father/mother substituting, and, to me, it is really the answer for the kid in prison.

Nancy Madsen is a senior at Wheaton College, Illinois.
Copyright © 2006 Christianity Today. Click for reprint information.January 2006, Vol. 50, No. 1, Page 48