The Practice of Solitude
(Excerpts adapted from a message by John Ortberg and taken out of Bible Study on Spiritual Transformation from Willow Creek Resources)
John Ortberg:
Not long after moving to Chicago, I called a wise friend to ask for some spiritual direction. I described the pace at which things tend to move in my setting. I told him of the rhythms of our family life, about the present condition of my heart as best I could discern it. What did I need to do, I asked him, to be spiritually healthy?
There was a long pause. "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life," he said slowly. Another long pause.
"Okay, I've written that one down," I told him, a little impatiently. "Now what else is there?" I had many things to do and this was a long-distance call, so I was anxious to cram as many units of spiritual wisdom into the least amount of time possible.
"There is nothing else," he said.
This is the wisest spiritual mentor I have ever known. He knows me well. And from an immense quiver of spiritual wisdom he drew only one arrow. "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."
Suffering from Hurry Sickness
We worship at the shrine of the Golden Arches not because they sell good food or even cheap food but fast food. And even after the invention of fast food, people still had to take the time to park their cars and go inside to order and eat - which took time. So we invented the drive-thru lane. Now families can eat in vans, as God intended.
Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day. For most of us, the danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it. Hurry will destroy your soul. It will keep you from life. Depth always comes slowly; this is simply a truth about human formation. You cannot microwave maturity.
Perhaps the most serious aspect of hurry sickness is a damaged capacity to love. For love and hurry are fundamentally incompatible. Love always takes time. Hurry kills love. Hurry prevents us from receiving love from the Father or giving it to his children.
In the final analysis, hurry is not just a disordered schedule. Hurry is a disordered heart.
But there is hope. You can change. You really can. But it will not happen merely by trying. Once again, you must enter a life of training.
Follow the Leader
At the beginning of his ministry, Jesus went to the wilderness for an extended period of fasting and prayer. He also withdrew when he heard of the death of John the Baptist, again when he was choosing his disciples, and frequently after a full day of ministry. The practice continued through his final days, when he withdrew to a garden to pray. He ended his ministry as he began it, with the practice of solitude.
Jesus was often busy, but never hurried. He had much to do, but he never did it in a way that severed the life-giving connection between himself and his Father. He never did it in a way that interfered with his ability to give love. He observed a regular rhythm of withdrawal from activity for solitude and prayer.
And he taught his followers to do the same: "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest," he said to them (Mark 6:31) - and he says to them still. Following Jesus cannot be done at a sprint. If you want to follow someone, you can't go faster than the one who is leading.
Solitude
Wise followers of Jesus have always understood solitude to be a foundational practice - the furnace of transformation. But what exactly is solitude? People wonder sometimes: What do I do when I practice solitude? What should I bring with me?
The primary answer, of course is nothing. Not long ago, a man told how he prepared for his first extended period of solitude: He brought along books, tapes, CDs, and a VCR - the very things you go into solitude to get away from.
At its heart, solitude is primarily about not doing something. When I go into solitude, I withdraw from conversation, from the presence of others, from noise, from the constant barrage of stimulation. I leave behind all the stuff I use to keep myself propped up. I have no friends to talk with, no phone calls, no TV to entertain, no pile of books to occupy or distract. I am, in the words of the old hymn, "just as I am" - not my accomplishments, my possessions, or my relationships. Just me and my sinfulness; my desire for God and my lack of desire for God.
Of course, solitude may be used as an occasion to engage in other practices as well. Prayer, self-examination and meditation on Scripture are probably the most helpful practices to engage in during solitude.
I find it helpful to think about solitude in two categories. I need brief periods on a regular basis - preferably each day. Sometimes I begin the day by praying over the day's schedule. I anticipate tasks I must perform, people I will be with, meetings I will be in, and place it all in God's hands, asking for his strength and wisdom.
Throughout the day I may take five-minute breaks to reconnect with God and to remind myself of his presence. Sometimes in the evening, I review the day with God - to see what he might want to say to me and to hand any anxieties over to him.
Several times a year, I also need extended periods of solitude - a half-day, a day, or a few days. Unless I pull out my calendar and block out times in advance, they will not happen. But they are critical times for more significant review of the work of God in my life.
Don't Give Up
Pursuing solitude will take relentless perseverance. At first, you may even feel it's a waste of time. This is because we are conditioned to feel that our existence is justified only when we are doing something or accomplishing something.
You may feel frustrated at your inability to stay focused. The first time I tried extended solitude, my mind wandered like a tourist with a Eurail pass. I have come to realize, over time, that focused prayer, interspersed with wanderings, is all my mind is capable of now. In his book The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence put it his way: "For many years, I was bothered by the thought that I was a failure at prayer. Then one day, I realized I would always be a failure at prayer; and I've gotten along much better ever since."
Are you tired of the effects of your hurry sickness? Don't you feel a yearning for something more? A pull toward a deeper, fuller experience of God's presence? If so, it's time to enter training for another way to live. The practice of solitude will begin opening that door.
Spiritual Exercise -
Your challenge this week is to "ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life." We are not asking you to stop being busy. Rather, this exercise is designed to help you train yourself away from the kind of hurriedness that keeps you chronically preoccupied and anxious - that hinders you from receiving love from the Father and giving it to others.
- Write out the words, "You cannot go faster than the One who is leading." and post it somewhere where you see it throughout the day.
- Even before you get out of bed each morning, pause to acknowledge God's presence.
- Thank him for seeing you through the night. Invite him to be with you through the day.
- Slow down when you eat your meals. Taste it. Enjoy it. Thank God for it. Slow down when you are driving.
- Resolve to take this day one activity at a time. Commit to being genuinely present in each moment - with your kids, in the meeting, with your wife, etc.
- Take a 5-minute break periodically throughout the day to reconnect with God.
- Listen to the people you converse with today - really listen. See if you can make it through the conversation without interrupting.
- Before going to bed, spend a few minutes reflecting on the day - thank God for it and see what God might say to you about it.
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